For several years now I have been attempting to live out my tagline, “Blurring the Lines Between the Sacred and the Secular.” At first it was rather euphoric! Suddenly everything in my life had spiritual meaning. Even the mundane tasks of life could be used as a way to connect with God. All I had to do was focus my thoughts on him and offer my task as a gift to him. It was and still is a joyous thing to offer my creative and artistic efforts to him. Even playful creative times have been a time to connect with God.
Be with Him.
Just Be.
But it is so easy to slip back into the old way of thinking, the performance based way of measuring if I am "ok" or not. Did I do a faith art journal page today? Did I remember to invite God to be with me while I created? Am I studying the Bible enough? Am I praying enough? Not many people came to the meeting tonight. Am I doing something wrong? Is this really my calling? Sometimes it can feel like swimming in a blustery sea with waves crashing all around, doggy-paddling as fast as I can. Swimming this way and that looking for shore.
Being sensitive to the voice of the Holy Spirit frequently turned into excessive self-examination. You know it's excessive when it’s bogging you down and distracting you from what you are to be about.
Finding the balance is hard. But, day by day ,minute by minute, God is teaching me to ask forgiveness when I sin, let it go and move on. When I fail or think I have failed, I can offer that disappointment to Him, learn from it, let it go and move on.
Over and over and over.
However many times it takes.
His grace is u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d.
This way of living is not a way to do whatever you want and slap a “forgive me” on it and call it done. It's a way of letting go of sins and even “perceived” failures and walking with Him in relationship.
Focusing on Him instead of yourself.
In his TED Talk Joe Boyd of Rebel Pilgrim Productions says that every time you fail you gain wisdom and humility. I would agree.
So.... I know someone has been praying for me because I am beginning to feel like I am turning the corner. I am taking some time to review and ponder some of the books and DVDs I have about being an artist of faith. Focusing on my true passion and calling – spreading the word about connecting Art and Faith.
And I'm getting my joy back!
